Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are? This is a vital question as we are all much more than we think – we have the blessings and the belief systems of a thousand or more generations behind us.

Whilst not conscious of it, each of us is deeply impacted by the events and belief systems of the generations that preceded us.  Far from being islands, we are connected to the family field as if to a matrix and much of that is subconscious and more powerful than we often give it credit.

During my recent three months in China I began to see that as a nation that has been closed to the outside world that it indeed was not just a different culture, but an entirely different world. In comparison, although in day to day life I do not consider myself a Christian in the traditional sense, I became increasingly aware of just how Christian I am with my belief systems and cultural values! If often takes comparison with something totally different to get a clearer picture of who we are and what makes us tick.

Through working with the Ancestral Field not only can we tap into all of the wisdom and goodness that streams from them, we can also heal that which has a limiting influence upon us. Belief systems and behaviour patterns are passed from one generation to the next and we as modern, educated human beings are just as affected by them. The good news about entering the Ancestral Field for healing purposes is that we do not need to know our family’s history; the field will do the revealing.

With this kind of approach we can work with:

Belief systems

Original Trauma

Family Guilt

All of which, when encountered and resolved can create big leaps forward in our lives and lasting change.

The Courage to Transform Fate into Destiny

When it comes to healing on any level, the most important quality or virtue is courage.  In order not to re-live our personal, family, national or ethnic history we must have the courage to face our past, or indeed to examine what we are creating in the present.

Without courage, all other qualities we consider virtues, such as love, forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance, kindness, charity and understanding are only temporary states of being for none of them can exist in our world unless they are supported by courage.  Likewise, courage does not exist unless fear is present. Fear of judgment, fear of exposure, the fear of being shamed and the fear of being undefended.

Without courage we can simply succumb to our fate an allow it to be the cornerstone of our lives, dictating the outcome of every relationship and life experience, in essence, more like a millstone than a solid cornerstone from which to build something that expresses who we truly are as opposed to the distorted self-view born from our wounding. However, all of the limiting life patterns that we experience really emerge from resisting that which was given, our fate. Yes, this sounds like a contradiction. In order for us to evolve our fate into a destiny of our choosing, we must first submit to whatever happened, to the fate that was given.

We live in a world of opposites, we have up and down, left and right, light and dark and so on an so forth and within life's lessons lies opposites as well - we live in a world of comparison and our free will allows us to create a life of our choosing. So no matter where we stand in life, all that is not wanted is an opportunity for us to launch ourselves forward towards what we do want. However, so many of us spend so much time simply resisting what is instead of reaching for that which is wanted.

The word submit is a difficult word for most to digest.  It conjures up images of submission, acquiescence and being resigned to a given situation with no further freedom to change or do anything about it. However, I use the term 'submit' in the meaning of accepting what is and what was. So why don't I just say 'accept' in its stead? Fate is a given and it comes to us from a power and a force that is much greater than us, I am not talking here about an individual God, the God of the Bible who has a personality, a will, wishes, laws and is all mighty, but I am talking here about the forces that govern human relationships and all life. Within this force is not only the greater soul of humanity and the soul of all life on our planet, both seen and unseen by the naked eye, but also our individual soul.

Family Constellations is a powerful way of looking at what fate had delivered, heal our wounds and turn towards our destiny.

Website

Courage

When it comes to healing on any level, the most important quality or virtue is courage.  In order not to re-live our personal, family, national or ethnic history we must have the courage to face our past.

Without courage, all other qualities we consider virtues, such as love, forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance, kindness, charity and understanding are only temporary states of being for none of them can exist in our world unless they are supported by courage.  Likewise, courage does not exist unless fear is present.

Website

Sending Faxes to God

Sending Faxes To God Inc.
by John L. Payne

Our dear friend Bob electrocutes himself whilst blow drying his hair in the bathroom one evening and suddenly finds himself in heaven. He is somewhat bewildered, his last memory catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror with frizzy hair as he fell with a thud to the ground. Anyway, his wonderful guide Gloria comes to his aid and settles him in to his new situation. “So how do you think you did Bob?” asks Gloria.

“Well, very well I think. It’s hard work down there. Work, trouble, toil, striving to create new situations, overcoming challenges, it’s quite exhausting!” replied Bob with frustration in his voice.

“Oh?” replied Gloria “seems to me that you got everything you asked for”

“Everything I asked for! Have you gone completely mad? I hardly ever got what I wanted. As I said, a lot of toil and trouble, broken dreams, disappointments, just plain hard work.”

Gloria placed her hand lovingly on Bob’s knee and with a kind look gazed into his eyes and said “No Bob, really, you got everything you asked for. You see, the Universe is like God Inc and we have departments for everything. Order departments, dispatch, marketing, management, everything, and we’re all working for you. Let me show you.”

Gloria took Bob by the hand and took him into a very, very, very large building. Hundreds of people were milling around all over the place, carrying books, files, documents, people shouting across hallways and offices like a busy stock exchange, an absolute sight of busyness. “This is the order department Bob, look around” Gloria invited.

As Bob looked around, he could see fax machines pumping out orders left right and centre, piles of documents several feet high on many desks, documents being passed from one person to another. He was amazed by just how busy it was. Gloria then took him by the hand to another room and in that room sat one person, with one fax machine next to her desk. As he stood there, the beautiful assistant received a fax which she read diligently and with a smile on her face, took a rubber stamp that said “Implemented” on it, and crashed it down on the paper with a look of sheer delight on her face. Gloria took bob out into the hallway and looked at him. “Did you notice the difference between the two order departments Bob?”.

“Yes” replied Bob “Clearly that small office is for someone special, a senior soul or something and the other office deals with lots and lots of less important Souls”

“No my dear Bob” replies Gloria “the small office is the order department for a woman on Earth who is clear about what she wants, hardly ever gives into doubt, doesn’t feel that she has to compete with others, and is clear about her intentions. The other office, on the other hand, is your order department.”

“Yeah, me and half of Earth’s population” Bob retorted. “No Bob” Gloria replied gently “it is YOUR order department. All of those people and faxes work for you”.
“They do?” asked Bob

“Yes Bob, each one of them works for you every moment of the day” says Gloria “let me explain”. Gloria goes on to explain to Bob that every request he sends out in thought is received as a fax by God Inc and implemented. She explains that Bob would send faxes saying something like “I want a new challenging career, which is well paid, where I am independent and self reliant” and the order is approved immediately by God Inc. Bob then goes for an interview and on his way out he sends another fax saying “I’m not sure I’m good enough for this job, they seem to be wanting to ask a lot of me”. Gloria then explains that this fax, like the first one, is approved and implemented, hence Bob does not get the job, and Bob in return is angry. Gloria takes Bob by the hand and takes him to the office archive where he can see every fax he has ever sent to God Inc. He is stunned, so many contradictory orders concerning health, money, career, relationships, everything! For each subject there are two piles “orders” and “cancelled orders”. Bob was amazed to see that the ‘orders’ and ‘cancelled orders’ piles were equal in many cases, and in most cases, ‘cancelled orders’ exceeded ‘orders’. “But the truth is Bob” Gloria says to him “there are only orders. It is God Inc’s responsibility to fulfill your every wish and whim, we are duty bound to obey your every command. So when you send us a fax saying “I’m not sure I can do this” we have to honor it and fulfill that order through your life’s circumstances.”

Bob looks at Gloria with wide eyes and says “So I really did get everything I wanted?”
“Yes Bob” replied Gloria “every fax sent to us is honored fully and it’s a pity that you rarely read the faxes we sent you”

“You sent me faxes? When? How often?” Bob replies in disbelief

“Yes Bob” Gloria replies with a gentle smile on her face “almost every day, but most of the time we simply got the busy signal, so we simply couldn’t get through to you. At times we would get creative and send a fax to a close friend who would read it you, but you never really listened or took note. Over the millennia, we’ve become very creative, we send faxes via friends, psychics, even hidden faxes through TV, Radio and many, many books, but you missed so many of them. A few times, when the line wasn’t busy, we did get through and you would read the fax with great interest, forget it, and then send us another fax asking for the same information. We would then re-send it, you would read it again, ignore it, forget it, dismiss it, whatever, and then re-fax us for the same information over and over again.”

“Didn’t you get tired with me” asked Bob
“No Bob, never” replied Gloria “that is our job, we only noticed just how tired you were making yourself. So, dear Bob, I would like you to try again. Go back to Earth, upgrade your fax receiving equipment, pay attention to what you receive, and try to send us fewer, much clearer faxes in future. We are only here to help you Bob.”

Fate & Destiny

In our quest for healing, there is much gold to be found in the depths of our wounding. It is within these wounds that our greatest gifts may be found. Each of us seeks unhindered contact with the other without defences and masks, each of us seeks to live from our true essence – an essence in which love, friendship and intimate relationships can flow freely and in which contact with ourselves can simply be.

Fate is a given, there is nothing we can do to change what was handed to us at birth. What we can change is how we feel about it and what we do with it. For some, the wounds of childhood can feel like a burden. As we dig deeper these wounds the become our teacher, forever presenting us with life lessons. Eventually as we bow to our own fate and the fate of others with deep respect, the wound then becomes our companion through life, no longer with power over us, but as an empowering companion and comrade to help us navigate the adventure we call life. Forever presenting us with the ability to make a conscious choice to respond instead of react, to embrace instead of reject, to respect instead of judge.

When we embrace our wounds as friends and companions along the road we are free to create our destiny, until then, we are burdened by our fate.

Fate is a given, destiny is what we do with it.

Why we often struggle with forgiveness

Why is it that we often struggle with forgiveness? When do we know that we have in fact forgiven and what are the pitfalls?

One of the main issues with forgiveness is it is often attempted from the stance of the good forgiving the bad, the better forgiving the worse or the superior forgiving the inferior. When are unable to come from a position of being equal to the other, then forgiveness, which releases the self from bondage, remains at a distance.

When we look at perpetrators it is also important to embrace the burden that they have created for themselves and their family. In the realm of the soul, the greater conscience of humanity, there is a natural knowing of that which is right and that which is wrong.

Even when a group conscience dictates that certain groups are the ‘enemy’ or ‘not worthy of respect’ the greater conscience of humanity upholds a moral compass that allows us all to know instinctively that murder, persecution, rape and sexual abuse are unacceptable and damaging behaviours. Whenever that moral compass of the greater soul of humanity is ignored, then the individual feels that transgression at a deep level. This burden goes beyond simple guilt or remorse, it is a tangible weight that is carried by the individual and often also by their descendents.

During some recent work, we looked at the fate of individuals who had been involved in genocide. In those moments the severity of their self created burden could be felt and the ripple effect of their actions felt down through the generations. This indeed is something to be mourned for.

When we mourn for self created burdens we include the perpetrators in the family of humanity once more, we become equal to them – soul to soul. As we have grown up in a culture that has been shaped by the punitive ideas of our religious traditions, moving to this place of respect for the self created burdens can be challenging. However, once we reach the place of understanding that embracing the perpetrator does not absolve them of their responsibility, we can more easily move into the presence of grace where forgiveness becomes a mute point and we become released from the burden of entanglement with the perpetrators.

Very often victims feel guilty after their ordeal, perhaps blaming themselves for being in the wrong place, for not taking more care or for simply ‘allowing’ it to happen. When the self created burden of the perpetrator can been embraced with deep respect, the victim can once again return to a place of innocence. When forgiveness does not take place, the victim often becomes as lost as the perpetrator – unable to regain their dignity and freedom. When it does take place, the victim can then embrace their heart again and the perpetrator is given the opportunity to face their responsibilities with dignity and as a member of humanity again.

www.johnlpayne.com 

Too Little Too Late?

As we approach the topic of both family and personal healing, many internal voices may want to have their say, some of them helpful, other voices not so helpful.

For example one voice may be saying ‘it cannot continue like this, something has to change’ another voice may be saying ‘all I want to do it to feel good, so why dredge these things up?. One of the most difficult challenges is facing an issue where we will undoubtedly feel that old wound again, and for the most part, we like to avoid that. However, where feelings are frozen or held tightly in place is exactly where our life will be frozen and not moving, or perhaps, be repeating the same old patterns over and over and over again.

Whilst it is true that one of the outcomes or objectives is to once again feel the natural flow of love within a relationship or within an extended family, in this process, the feelings that are stuck are met and dissolved. These can be feelings of shame, anger, rage, deep grief, a sense of loss, indignation – the list goes on. However, it is only through encounter that the walls of defence can be dissolved so that love can flow once more.

It is also important to become aware of those voices that say things like ‘it’s not allowed to have those feelings’ or ‘you should be ashamed of yourself for feeling like that!’. These voices are the voices of external authority that we have taken on as our own and they seek only to keep us in the same place – the real purpose of which is to protect us from feeling our wounds at all costs.

As we disentangle from the sometimes complex entanglements within a family system or the entanglements that get in the way of having intimate relationships that flow, we can encounter and release the nagging voices, encounter the fear and shame, and let go into a greater flow of natural love.

One of the most difficult aspects of Family Constellation work can be to allow love to flow when there is a general feeling of ‘too little too late’. This can be especially true if the parents are no longer with us, are very elderly or sick. So how do we overcome this feeling? First of all, healing is always about the self. Just as forgiveness is designed to release ourselves from bondage, allowing love to flow is also about allowing that which is natural to flow through us.

When we hold onto the old, nothing new can flow to us, as we release and accept what is, the flood gates can open, sometimes beginning as a trickle. So if it feels like ‘too little, too late’ the challenge is to open ourselves to what is present for in every human being, no matter their character, there is the level of the soul where love resides in its natural state, unhindered and unshackled by their own wounds. In essence, when the pain of keeping things as they are becomes greater than the possible pain of facing our wounds, we are ready to allow the need to be right become secondary to our desire for inner peace.

www.johnlpayne.com